foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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3:00 pm: I'm alive (The Oyster)

merging onto the highway
in my red shades that makeeverything flat and monochromatic yet intense like
an acid trip
and listening to James
was the most alive I'd felt since all the pack and a half of cigarettes I'd smoked all night
it's all the same fucking day
and I'm too lazy to hike to where I
scattered your ashes
so I'm sitting by pools of water
letting you know
that I'm alive

okay I made it here
your ashes are everywhere and invisible
just like you were
why could I never find you
even years before you died?
I baptized my butterfly
necklace in all of your waters I could think of and find even drinking water
maybe some gristle of your burnt body has permeated it
these are the things that I do
to prove I'm alive
even under the weeping willow and amidst the seaweed and darting frogs
I tried to procure an oyster
it was too far away
for my fingers to find
beyond the bridge where
bad spirits fall
your spirit
found me

9:27 p.m. - 2005-05-21

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