foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what it's like to be falling through a black hole The light is getting farther and farther away. It is rapidly getting smaller, too. You notice that the passage you are falling-- are you falling?-- seems to be getting smaller and smaller, as well, but... you don't notice yourself getting cramped. Perhaps because parts of yourself are falling away... effortlessly, painlessly, slipping away, like ghosts... more and more as you fall. Somehow, you don't feel incomplete, even as more of you slips away. On the contrary, you feel more and more real the further you fall, more real than you remember feeling, since... You are your own essence as you stop, with the delicacy of a pinprick. That little voice you would hear and ignore all these years, the one that would say "stop" or "no" before you did something stupid or dangerous... that is all you are now. You are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Mainly nowhere, but what's the difference? So this is what it is like to not exist, you think... how can you think? But you can. You do. You are turned inside out, nothing more or less. You are forming your new falseness for the next time, like an oyster getting ready to spit you out onto sunlit shores as a gasolene-rainbowed black pearl. 7:38 p.m. - 2004-11-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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