foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lessons Okay. So I've been reading Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. It's about the grim realities women have to face on the road before, during and after pregnancy (especially the callousness of the American medical industry), amidst the blissful joys of becoming a mother. It's a hard read for me, because it's making me confront the question that's been lurking in my brain since over a year ago: do I ever want to become a mother? Let alone the question of do I ever want to get married. I see both as a supreme giving up of self that I think would be traumatic for me-- but at the same time, maybe spiritually transforming and beautiful? So anyway, I decided to do some lighter reading this afternoon. I whipped out some magazines I had lying around, including the summer 2003 issue of Bust (the one with Cher on the cover). In there, I read an article written by Carol E. Lee, who found out her father was gay when she was ten. At first she couldn't accept it, but now, fifteen years later, she's proud of her father and says of him, "My dad knew the risks, and he chose the hellish journey of being true to himself. He couldn't have taught me a better lesson." The reason I'm writing about this article is that it taught me this lesson: problems arise, and when they do you deal with them and weave them into the tapestry of who you are. Thereby, there are no mistakes. So it's useless to worry about "...what if something bad happens." I obviously don't want to have a baby now, but someday I might, and then I will. There's no point in worrying about it now. And I'm always true to myself. 3:51 p.m. - 2004-09-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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