foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on weak men Here's a quote that's been occupying my head for the better part of the past three hours: "I pity weak men. I really do. they should be dragged into the street, humiliated, and sodomized by me and my friends just for sport." --Diamanda Galas (she is just so quotable!) I guess this quote has been rattling around in my head because I've been thinking a lot about weak men. I don't have all that much experience with them; my father, brothers, most of my male friends, and most of my lovers are not weak men. While I don't plan on dragging anyone out in the street and sodomizing him (and neither, I don't think, does DG), weak men are really fucking annoying. I suppose the best general way for a woman my age to avoid weak men is to avoid anything Emo, a subculture which was basically started to assuage the egos of immature nincompoops who are secretly bitter they can't be frat boys. However, since I have been known to frequent shows at the Fireside in Chicago and even own a Sunny Day Real Estate tape, this is not an option. Okay, seriously, let's clarify terms. What is a weak man? Well, what is a weak woman, or a weak person? As adults-- men or women-- we have to recognize that we have a certain amount of power. If you deny that you have power, you are weak. It's that simple. But I am targeting weak men for a reason. Many weak men find power in hiding behind their weakness and letting others believe that the weakness is sensitivity and even compassion. But true sensitivity and compassion do not consist merely in fear of confrontation. Let's take an honest-to-goodness sensitive, compassionate loudmouth asshole who is one of my best friends ever, male or female: my friend Saif. He listens. He gives great advice. He cares. But he's not a doormat; far from it, he is a force to be reckoned with. In contrast, the weak man is not only a doormat, but he is so ashamed of it, he pretends it makes him "God's gift." He is so weak, people want to believe he's just a harmless sweetheart. Usually, he is. Until you give him your heart and he doesn't know what to do with it. I got duped by this more than once, and I don't want you to. This is why I am warning you to let contemptible, spineless sycophants lie and get your loverboy somewhere else. Remember, it takes a strong man to love a strong woman. Nor am I about to head for the nearest frat house. Macho parading is a dead givaway of weakness. This point is so obvious that I didn't think to clarify it until now. So, frat boys are clearly out. The trouble with strength of character is, it doesn't adhere to a subculture or a crowd. You won't find it in someone's taste in music or books, or in his religious beliefs, or his preference when it comes to shaved or unshaven legs. This is very tricky. But this is my warning: don't go for someone because they seem harmless! Obviously I'm not saying go for a known date rapist, but for Chrissake, go out with a guy you can have a good heated debate with, not someone who says sheepishly, "Oops, sorry, I must've stepped on your heart with my retro sneakers on the way to the comic book store." You know what they say about little boys: they don't take good care of their toys and always want mommy to come clean up after their mess. Or, that's what I found out. Go for the guy who challenges you, not the one who seems easy. This diary entry is dedicated to my father, a strong man who has told me, "Be careful what you write, because someone might read it," and who has encouraged me to date men instead of boys, i.e. males who will get my back without whining about it and are willing to let me get theirs. 11:02 a.m. - 2004-02-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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