foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- trophy wives So I've refined my stance of never wanting to get married to being kind of a mommy's girl about it. She didnt want an engagement ring because she felt it was a symbol of ownership, and since I was raised watching her putting on random jade rings where her big ol' fuckin' DeBeers diamond ring should be (she intitally had a locket instead of an engagement ring, which she gave me to play with when I was two and it broke-- oops) so I've never equated a big ol' diamond with love and a happy marriage it's just not the way I was brought up. I want a wedding band, because both marrying parties have those, so it's equal. Secondly, like my mom, I intend on keeping my maiden name. I can't believe how many girls my age are getting engagement rings and changing their last names to their husbands'! I mean, if that's what they wanna do, that's wat they wanna do, but I just find it surprising, like some sort of backlash against feminism. That may sound melodramatic, but that's really how I see it. Now, my ex-boyfriend is a feminist. Most of the time. Except, when I told him I wanted to adopt my babies instead of bearing them the yucky traditional way, he responded that he wanted to pass on his own seed to carry on his last name. Did I menton this guy considers himself a feminist? Which brings me to points three and four: I'm not sure how i feel about the whole adopton thing anymore. This is my reasoning: sex=fun. Sex also=babies. paperwork and going through interviews do not=fun. But then, NEITHER DOES CHILDBIRTH! I really hope my ex-boyfriend, someday, somehow, finds a woman who reeeeallly is just dyin to bear him a son to pass on his sacred last name. I really do. sheesh. Point two, this is just an example of the flaws in one guy I dated, and mark that: one guy. What are the chances of me finding a cool, loving, emotionally available, trustworthy guy whose good in bed that I want to marry, with my track record? I don't think it looks so good. And you know, I'm okay with that. I really am. As everyone says, I'm still young, and even if i don't find someone, I'm happiest when I'm single anyway. at least, that has been true up to this point... what no one seems to understand is that giant diamonds, passing on the husband's last name to his spawn, etc. is not love. I', not even talking romantic love-- I'm talking mutual trust, respect, and admiration as two distinct individuals. Those things I just mentioned are ornaments, status symbols, things that make you think you're gonna die happy, with wo slippers on your feet and a fuckin' pipe in your mouth. fuck that. I will not be a trophy wife. Because, if you equate dimonds with love, if you take your husband's last name out of deference, that is just what you are: a trophy wife. You are also a trophy wife if you consisetly put your husband's needs before your own because you're afraid of losing him. that's what I did with my last boyfriend, and I lost him anyway. Oh, well. Better I learned that lesson now than thirty years into a marriage whe I'm fifty. 8:59 a.m. - 2003-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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