foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on soul mates About a month or so ago, I was having lunch with Borders Guy. He said something about wanting to meet his "soul mate," or something like that-- at anyrate, he used the term and really meant it. So, I asked him, "Come on, Borders Guy, do you really believe that there's one "soul" out there that your soul or my soul is destined to be with throughout cosmic eternity?" He stopped, and said, "Well, no, of course not. I don't believe in a soul or in an afterlife." Then why did he use that term? I'm sure at some point in history the term "soul mate" actually actually meant something, the way the term "in love" once, perhaps to the dinosaurs, actually meant something. But if an atheist is tossing around the term soul mate like that, without believing in a soul-- is there something wrong with me, or is there something wrong with THAT? In other words, WHAT THE FUCK IS A SOUL MATE, anyway? Well, I know lots of atheists who say, "Oh, my God!" or "goddam this" and "goddam that." I don't have a problem with that. I really do know what the term soul mate means, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I don't even know why I don't like it. Maybe if I was a happier person who hadn't had such a disappointing love life, I wouldn't take so much issue. But then there's my parents. I totally think THEY'RE soul mates. But they've been married for thirty years and have had three children together. I mean, they're my parents, for god's sake, and they're just supposed to be together forever because for as long as I've been alive it's been that way. I'd like to someday find a man I can be that way with, but I'm not going to jump the gun once the diamond ring goes on my finger and turn it into something cosmic. Marriage is a temporary state these days. I've been with a few guys who I thought were my soul mates... quite a few, in fact. Besides the one who died and the one who is now "just" a treasured friend, the rest turned out to be lame assholes. How could I have been so deluded? But then... who's to say that you and your soul mate aren't meant to be sexual or romantic together, but are meant to be deeply in love as good friends, not really in love, but... you're buddies, and you love each other, you know? I've read stuff about nonromantic, nonsexual soul mates, and I kind of think my grandfather and I were soul mates in that we were kindred spirits who were in the same family and saw things very similarly, who had a very similar take on reality. I do believe in a soul. Or at least, I know i think my grandfather, Michael, and K hang around and kind of tell me what to do... like guardian angels. And if you believe that the living can affect the deceased's passage through the afterlife, in a way I'm their guardian angel, too. This is pretty profound stuff, and I hate to see it cheapened into a way to sell overpriced jewelry or dating services or tickets to a sappy Meg Ryan flick. Oh, well. Just remember: love means never having to say, "I'm sorry." And the way to get a guy is to hang out in a glass coffin (or a tanning booth, whatever.) Just think about that and whip out your credit card the next time you find yourself sleepless in Seattle. 8:06 p.m. - 2005-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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