foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"...but, man, I wish I had a hand to hold\" Today I�ve spent the whole day, and will spend the whole rest of the day, killing time. Even when I take pictures later, it will be killing time. Why is it just killing time? Because I am alone, and when I am alone all I really want to do is sleep, so these other things I do are killing time. But if you kill time enough, you�ll find that some of the things you do to kill time are wonderful and beneficial. I�ve been reading Pema Chodron, who is a Tibetan Buddhist monk. It seems to me that the lesson at the heart of her teachings is: accept where you are, because where you are is wonderful, and only if you accept where you are can you truly change it. Today I went for a walk. No headphones, no cameras, no notebooks; just me, alone. And I found myself at the muddy foot of a polluted ravine that I�d struggled with a walking stick I found along the way to get to, on this cold, damp and overcast day. And I was alone. And I just accepted that. �Here I am,� I thought, �on a cold, windy, damp, overcast day, at the muddy foot of a polluted ravine, and I am alone. And you you know what? It�s not so bad, because since there�s no one else here, no one will chastise me for throwing my cigarette butt into the ravine, and since it�s polluted I won�t feel guilty either.� Then I saw that I wasn�t alone. Shrouded in the water�s pollution, a turtle had been watching me the whole time. 4:32 p.m. - 2004-08-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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