foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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after the gravesite service

(Please refer to my previous entry and an entry entitled ďangel at the Black Madonnaís feetĒ to know what Iím talking about in this entry)

Iím sick of dead people.

Iím sick of them being dead, Iím sick of going to their funerals and burials and memorial services, Iím sick of missing them, Iím sick of having to interact with other people at these ceremonies, and Iím sure youíre sick of hearing me whine about all this shit. So, this is what I did: I took down my shrine to Michael, K, R, and J. I stuck it behind a desk in my room. I took down the picture of me and K at prom and stuck it in a box. I took down any other pictures of Michael and K that I had up and stuck them in the same box. I took down the box with Jís guitar pick in it and the baby Jesus ripped from his Motherís arms and stuck them in a safe place. I still have the heart-shaped box of rose petals and the mini sand garden where the shrine used to be. I have a lot more space on that desk now, and I put up a picture of Andy Warhol giving John Lennon a kiss. (I know theyíre dead too, but I didnít know them so it doesnít matter.) It was very empowering to do all thisóIíve been carrying these ghosts around with me for way too long and Iím fucking sick of it.

6:09 p.m. - 2004-08-15

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