foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I close my eyes to think of God but he ain't there, I close my eyes to think of you but you ain't there... Tonight was the first night in a long time that I didn't have nightmares. I dreamed about cats. Today is the anniversary of J's death. They're going to put in his gravestone and everyone's going to leave a stone on the gravestone (I guess it's an old Jewish tradition). I picked out a stone I want to leave for him. It's a green stone that I found on the beach when I was high. I was hanging out with my little brother and our friend when I found it. I wrote on the bottom of the stone: "truly a free spirit if ever there was one." That's what Alice Walker said about Bob Marley when he died. J really liked Bob Marley. You were supposed to just find a stone at the cemetery to leave, but J's mom said it was okay if we brought our own. I keep listening to this one song over and over on my Jackson's Jukebox CD. It goes like, "I close my eyes to think of god but he ain't there, I close my eyes to think of you but you ain't there..." It's about someone who lost someone very close to him to death. I posted the following in my MySpace blog:
"my former "friend" "I met this guy here on MySpace named "elliot" and we hit it off and had a bull shit romance followed by a bull shit friendship. I ended all the bull shit by sending him an e-mail in which I said, pretty much verbatim: "I'm getting really fucking sick of the way you never return my phone calls or answer my e-mails. give me three reasons why I should continue pursuing this bull shit "friendship." " Either he couldn't think of three reasons, he's a dickless wimp, or he never really cared about me in the first place. But I didn't expect him to get back to me anyway." Then I left a message to someone in my Myspace ring of friends who also used to be friends with elliot but got pissed off at him to read my latest MySpace blog entry. I don't know if leaving that message was such a good idea, when I look back on it. But, I did get a proposition to call someone (a guy) from one of my friends on MySpace. So we'll see how that goes. I'm gonna go easy on that one. More later, Elizabeth 4:41 p.m. - 2004-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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