foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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poem inspired by Revolutionary Suicide by Huey Newton

HUEY

usually I shake in my boots

But right now I shake in my stockings

Because I think you may have saved me.

Yeah, me: a rich white girl

Who can buy most whatever I want and has

Access to you through her suburban aristocratic public

Library

But enough stupid white girl guilt shit. Thing is,

I would rather die riding into flames to save my sisters than

Succumb to suicide

By sisters I mean all women, of all genders and colors

You said: “thus it is better to oppose the forces that would drive me to self-murder

Than to endure them.”

This is what I want to do. Like the ravaged Whores of God, I want to be responsible

For my own visions

I don’t want to die in fear and helplessness

Blindly trusting in drugs, doctors and romantic love.

Huey, did you know

Another little girl was raped and murdered last week? I wanted to strangle her killer

With my bare shaking hands. I’ve plunged those hands through windows to stop the feeling

Of Nazis stomping through my brain.

There’s a darkness in my skull.

I am kind of illiterate these days, too

But your book makes me want to raise my fist

Fingers tremble, a fist does not (or so has been my

Experience) I made a vow

That this is the worst I would ever feel

That someday I would dance howling at the moon with my sisters like the

Crazy Girl that I am

And my eyes would burn red

And I wouldn’t even

care

4:17 a.m. - 2004-02-10

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