foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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fumbling towards revolution

Q: how do you mobilize against the political and social rape and torture of young girls’ souls in amerika?

Okay… okay…. Here’s what I would do:

Have Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, Angry Women by ReSearch and Revolutionary Suicide by Huey P. Newton be required reading for all youngsters living in said amerika

The fugees, public enemy, the Fakes, Yoko Ono, and bikini kill should be required listening, and Delirium by Mindy Faber required viewing

“being told you are a piece of shit and not believing it is a form of resistance”-kathleen hanna of bikini kill

me personally: although I’ve never been raped, I feel a bit uneasy without a copy of The Courage to Heal nearby. We have to stop isolating ourselves and see that men and women alike are all victims of Sexual Abuse.

This country is going to hell in a hand basket and unless a democrat gets elected president or something bizarre like that I don’t see a way out. George W. seems to have his fat fingers wrapped tightly around my spine every night. My nightmares are your nightmares, make no mistake about that…

Huey Newton made me realize the difference between reactionary suicide (self-murder) and revolutionary suicide, self-sacrifice to a greater good. It’s getting quite desperate, this situation in our country and all I know how to do is type out litanies against it. What the hell kind of a nation places more significance on who showed who her boob during the superbowl than on the rape torture and murder of yet another little girl? what the fuck is that? Make no mistake: WE ARE ALL CARLIE BRUCIA. She is my sister, and as my sister I will fight for her. She cannot rest in peace knowing that she died in vain, things have got to change now. I just don’t know how to make things change…

Do you? I’m so pissed, and I can’t even access my own anger about it because it’s so covered up with lies like “now women are liberated. The end.” And other bull shit.

I’ve stayed up all night listening to said music and reading said books and thinking and writing and hallucinating on anemia and sleep dep and I still have no answers. My problem is your problem, I believe, at 6:50 am on Tuesday, February 10 2004 that I went crazy in part due to our misogynist culture not letting me express certain scary and vital parts of my personality. Being insane is the plight of the woman: always second-guessing your own thoughts, always being afraid you aren’t presentable enough. Tracy Chapman was right: when we talk about a revolution, it sounds like a whisper. Because otherwise you get carted off as a terrorist.

Well, I have big plans for this decade. The young, poor, female, oppressed, insane, homosexual, and people of color are going to RISE UP onto the horizon like a long-forgotten sunrise thwarting george w.’s endless night of patriarchy and medieval (IE, “family”) values. Call me joan of arc, call yourself that, I know my god and he is not the same as george w.’s. george w.’s god is inherited power, mine is consciousness stripped bare yet we both use the name jesus to describe it. Jesus was a poor arab, what is “w” praying to anyway?

WOMAN IS THE NIGGER OF THE WORLD

While in Newton’s book he was describing literal death, how many of Amerika’s high schools are filled with young dying or dead souls? It is almost a proverb that young girl’s spirits are broken by age twelve. That is, if they haven’t already killed themselves off with an eating disorder so they can Be Thin (anemic). These girls are weak and sickly and impoverished BY CHOICE (as far as they ever had a fighting chance at having any kind of choice in the patriarchy)—how can they be expected to rise to the occasion for the revolution?

Simple. Feed them. Both metaphorically (spiritually) and physically. Give them role models other than super skinny supermodels—people like Margaret Cho and Kathleen Hanna. By exposing them only to what the dominant culture presents as Suitable, Wholesome Female Role Models, we only perpetuate the cycle of creating Self-Denying Women. If you don’t think body image is at a crisis point in this country, visit an adolescent girls’ psyche ward.

Too many parents are afraid of letting their children hear cuss words and descriptions of sexuality; hence, children are learned in no productive vehicles for their 1) inner rage at being oppressed (children are oppressed in our culture, AND they know it, AND life doesn’t stop after birth) and 2) curiosity about “It.” Also, they miss out on great art. They languish and starve, all in the name of Being Pleasant (-ly Misinformed) and of Puritanical ideas of what is appropriate.

LET’S PUT RAPE ON TRIAL

Instead of just chalking the sickness, the mindset that runs rampant, up to isolated “monsters.” As I sit here writing this while listening the Fugees, I feel like I’m back in 1961 Amerika, before anything was happening, man, and my world is in black and white, except without even the benefit of shades of gray. Wielding a weapon larger than life—my words. Am I on the brink of something? Something just has to happen, amerika can’t stay this way forever. We have reached a crisis point—people are dying, often by their own hands.children veg out for hours a day in front of the tv (self-hatred machine) instead of doing cool things like reading, writing, drawing, daydreaming, playing make-believe and otherwise exercising their fertile young imaginations. What good is the right to the pursuit of happiness when we are stifled by other people’s definitions of what provides happiness? The lucky ones will go crazy, creating an alternate reality like I did. I pity the ones who accept the culture and its fanatical dictates hook, line and sinker. It is these very ones who do not know they are to be pitied for their contemptible existence.

9:30 p.m. - 2004-02-10

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