foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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letter to my in-denial-Emo ex-boyfriend

December 21, 2003

Dear (in-denial-Emo ex-boyfriend),

When we first broke up, I was determined to remain friends with you. My feelings on that have changed drastically, especially during the past few days.

I just donít think I matter to you that much, and I donít think I ever did, except as a piece of ass. Thatís your prerogative, and you were right in breaking up with me when you saw that I was carrying the relationship. Now I am terminating our friendship because I can see that it wonít go anywhere unless I carry it.

I am quite experienced in carrying relationships with people, both men and women, who donít give a shit about me. Why do I do this? I donít know. I See something inspiring in them, some potential. But obviously, in your case, that potential was not meant for me.

You may ask me, what makes me so sure that you donít care about me? I would counter, what reason have you ever given me to think that you do? You put me in an emotional strait jacket when it became clearer and clearer that certain topics were off limits, such as Jackís death and my mental illness because ďit was just too hard for you to deal with.Ē The majority of my good friends are stronger than that. I regret insulting you by saying that.

You are at a point in your life where the girls who matter most to you are ones youíve had crushes on since you were thirteen and the friends who matter most are the ones you got high with in high school. Hopefully youíll grow out of that. If I may be so bold, you should have long ago.

Iíve heard it said that if you bother to argue with someone, it means you still care about them. So, I am not arguing with you. I do still care about you, but I donít want to, because it just hurts me. It hurt me to wait by the phone every night waiting for you to call when we were dating. It hurt me to see how obvious it was and is that youíd rather hang out with your drinking buddies and friends from Homewood and then tell me ďYouíre too BUSYĒ to see me. Again, that is your choice. My choice is to say, ďFuck that. I donít want to be a part of this anymore.Ē

From, Elizabeth

10:25 p.m. - 2003-12-22

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