foxinsnow's Diaryland Diary

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Kali

I. Kali

I saw her laughing like a stone thrown up to consume the sky

the night pressed in like skin stars as wounds bleeding eyes tell all about her lolling tongue

She turned, about to slay me, then grasped my hand, crying human tears “Help me,”she breathed through them, and disappeared into the dawn.

So she feeds on my blood every day and night in my dreams I grow darker and darker within her womb all traces of my fingers and walls slither away, and nothing is left but her night.Someday, we will laugh together and stamp on the corpses of our enemies with our red-rimmed eyes

But most likely we will be thin, thin and small crying and holding hands like sister soul-mates and then I see that she is me and I need not die to be near her

II. Flaming Red Hair

She was laughing at me, wasn’t she? Hate, I want to murder her imperfects and it’s like no secrets I wish to stab her eyes out

while her life unravels like hair from her head falling to the floor Oh My God, how your angels bite my flesh with their rat's fangs! It is in your fallen shadows that I find my friends my hair is weaved through and through my brain I want to rip it out as an endless sacrifice to Her to tell her,“This is what you did to me.”

III.Suicide

She has a pillar up betwixt her breasts all her fault, all her fault, or drugs now she is crippled, poor bitch we must save her

Selfish, selfish act… when every other person’s word echoes with imagined indifference when tears fall unnoticed with lonely contempt when the world is swirling with her own self-hatred one moment, one moment is all it takes to fall, fall, fall and drown

"I need not die to be near her" yes, but not everyone can see her shadow smiling and in the end and in the end she takes my hand and is my only pure real friend even if the bitch took my lover

even if she takes everyone away from me one day she will take me

my love, she laughs through winking windows cut for me

IV. My Lover

Lolling tongue, lolling tongue, wraps its red hairs down my veins

That’s the dream I sometimes have it’s like we’re all in prison and only my lover comes back to visit and we touch each other through panes of glass and see each other like mirages

probably more beautiful than we really are.

She takes my hand, she takes my hand…

And says gently, “he is mine now. You have another. Go back to him.” And all dreams of red fade away into a wide open swirling black sky beyond me. “I want you,” she tells me. But she’ll have to taste my flesh another night.

12:34 a.m. - 2003-11-15

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